I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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