i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sorry about my life...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
