Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
