Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
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All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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