oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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