Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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