So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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