My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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