Umm I'm too high to move.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
