I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize