I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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