the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
