coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize