He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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