Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
