These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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