I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
