I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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