Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
