South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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