he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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