I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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