So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
