Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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