So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
