I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
