I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship