sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?