Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.