Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
