Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
