Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
