do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
COCAINE IS GR8
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
