WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
