we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
