Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
