Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
