Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
