Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
