alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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