I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
