He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
