i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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