Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I will be naked everywhere
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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