The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Who died my cat blue again?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
