Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
