Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
