people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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