Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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