I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
