I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
