so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize