go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
These 25 Drunks Shouldâ€™ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
27 Freshmen Who Really Didnâ€™t Know What They Were Getting In To
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy