I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
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What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???