It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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