I love black thongs
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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