My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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