I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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