Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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